This is not
a state of depression, but it is a very advanced stage of regret. Every night
Joe and his wife have pillow talks of what they should have done that day, which
is a far cry from the talks he used to have with Sean about what they would do someday. He loved his family because of the life they all showed,
and now hated modern music for the very same reason.
On a cold
winter night in December, Joe had gone down to his basement after dinner, where
he had retreated so many times before to escape his thoughts and focus on
music. He picked up his guitar and began to sing for the first time in ages. Little did he know that Pam was sitting on
the stairs listening in, holding two hot chocolates with two separate marshmallows gently tucked into the foam. Pam always paid attention to details, and she loved Joe because he understood the beauty in details. Joe had only sang while playing for her a few times, and most of the
time she could only hear him sing if she spied. But this time she was absolutely mesmerized. Joe started singing along quietly to his favorite tunes, and Pam felt directly connected to his music while she sat. She slowly crept down the
stairs and eventually tapped Joe on the back and gave him his hot chocolate and
slowly whispered “I love you” in his ear. He loved her more than anything. She
possessed everything he loved about music: love, soul, meaning, and the ability
to block out the rest of the world, and she displayed it in a way so humble,
gracious, and elegant, that Joe was simply amazed by her.
While Joe
dearly loved his family, he simply was not satisfied. He had one love of his
life by his side at all times in Pam, but he was still dearly missing his long
lost first love. The days went by slow, staring at a camera, watching people
stand still in a small square room. Nobody ever got stuck in the elevator or
even did anything interesting, so Joe’s thoughts always wandered at work. He
taped a picture of Pam onto the monitor so he’d atleast have something
beautiful to look at, and that is what allowed him to get by until it was time
to go home.
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